Dave and Chuck the Freak

(Photo by Lars Niki/Getty Images for IMAX)

I’ve often talked about my annoyance with scientists. They’re always doing studies that seem like they came up with right after they huffed some computer duster. And those are the real scientists. No scientist is more dumber than a movie scientist. (yes I wrote “more dumber” for the humor element of the mistake.) These are the most dumbest movie scientist type people.

  • Dr. Wu - Jurassic Park

    Just because an old rich guy asks you to make dinosaurs, definitely doesn’t mean you should. Look what happened. Dr. Wu thought he was doin science… instead he challenged nature and ended up creating a real sh*t show. It turns out dinosaurs are very, very dangerous.


  • Dr. Brundle - The Fly

    I thought that if you were a scientist, that attention to detail was of the utmost importance. Especially, if you’re…ya know… trying to figure out the mysteries of teleportation. Of course things can get wacky if a fly gets into your teleportation pod. Dr. Brundle didn’t realize this and that is how you end up pullin your eyeballs out to reveal your new fly eyes.

  • Dr. Wren - Alien Resurrection

    If you’ve ever seen a Xenomorph from the “Alien” franchise, you probably thought as I did… probably best those things aren’t around. Maybe we should stay far away from these vicious creatures with acid blood. Not if you’re Dr. Wren. He thought, now that they are gone… we should bring em back! The result, more goddamn aliens resulting in various forms of devastation. Great idea, jackass!

  • Dr. Dyson - Terminator 2

    If someone were to say to you, “Hey, we found this creepy robot arm and computer chip” a normal person would probably say — “Weird, we should probably leave that alone and definitely not try to reverse engineer whatever it is!” Not if you’re a dumbass scientist though. Dr. Dyson from Terminator thought it would be cool to do some work with said robot arm, and ended up bringing the end of civilization with multitudes of crazy killer cyborgs. Not cool, bud.

  • Jackson - Stargate

    The thing about other dimensions, is that they aren’t the best places for us. The science crew in the movie Stargate was eager to check out what’s on the other side. They were so eager in fact they didn’t think about what would happen if the gate closed trapping them in whatever hellscape they unlocked. F**k! Time and time again, scientists keep proving that just because you’re super smart doesn’t mean you’re still not dumb as hell.

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