Dave and Chuck the Freak

A couple bought a scooter at a 99 Cent Store, and it came with a User Manual that is so senseless, it’s hilarious. Here are some of the notices and warnings. (The grammar and misspellings are verbatim from the manual.)

Don’t close fire . . . Must company with adults . . . When baby is riding, the protecting people should company to insure the safety . . . When riding, please keep the speed under the walk speed . . .

Please ride on the plainess ground . . . Please don’t ride on the forbidden place and ride in rain day or on the slide road . . . Don’t make the hands and legs around the wheel and the turning part.

The 5 Most Kick Ass Old Dudes From The Movies

Old people. We love them. They are wise. They are hilarious. And when their not crashing their cars into buildings… sometimes they are kicking ass on the big screen. Here are 5 of my favorite kick ass old people from the movies.

  • Gandalf

    Yes, he looks like he used to be a roadie for Willie Nelson. Yes, he smokes some kind of weed-like substance from his pipe. And yes, of course he kicks some serious ass in Lord of The Rings. Not only does he use the might of his magic… but he’s not afraid to bestow a beating upon orcs with his staff. Gandalf ain’t nothin’ to f**k with!

  • Count Dooku

    Count Dooku is one evil son of a bitch. The once super cool Jedi, that turned to the Dark Side and became a truly nasty bastard. When he’s not tryin’ to make it to a 5:30 am breakfast to get his senior discount… he’s whoopin’ ass with lightsabers and his ability to manipulate the force. Once he’s had his Metamucil, steer clear of this old mean son of a bitch!

  • The Guy From The Taken Movies

    Liam Neeson’s character Bryan Mills. He’s pretty old. But he’s not afraid to kick some serious ass, even if his hips are made of metal. Watch him bring his elderly beating here. Doesn’t matter how much ointment it’s gonna take, there will be hell to pay if you f**k with him!

  • Campbell From Braveheart

    Campbell is the Dad of Hamish from Braveheart. This old man proves time and time again how tough he is. Whether he’s getting his hand chopped off or being shot with arrows, he never backs down from a fight. Hell, here he is with an arrow in him and he’s still got the energy to get every body fired up after an epic ass kicking, they didn’t even have advil back then.

  • Yoda

    Yoda is hundreds of years old, so he is by far the oldest of these ass-kicking old men. He tiny and walks with a cane. But don’t be fooled. He’s the most powerful Jedi there’s ever been. He gets around pretty good for his age and proved by his flips… he’s able to work through his joint pain to pick a fight with the evil Darth Sidious.