Dave and Chuck the Freak

A Bank Robber Wrote His Note on His Birth Certificate

November 21st, 2022 6:42 AM

Greene County, Missouri jail

A 30-year-old man has admitted to robbing a bank in Missouri earlier this year. He did it by handing a teller a note written with a pink highlighter.

The paper he used was actually the back of his BIRTH CERTIFICATE! He also was wearing an ankle monitor from a previous court issue so it was very easy to prove he was there. The total amount taken in the heist…$754

The whole thing, according to the man, was done to prove a point to his lover. No one knows what point that was though…He’s facing up to 20 years in prison.

FULL STORY

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Kirk Hammett: 10 Photos of Stellar 'Guitar Face'

Kirk Hammett celebrates his birthday on November 18. While his work in Metallica has been celebrated for years, there’s another aspect of his playing that also should be recognized: His “Guitar Face.”

You know, all of those weird facial expressions guitarists tend to make when they’re performing and are just feeling it. Some examples of “guitar face” are rather strange, but Hammett’s “guitar face” somehow is like an effortless cool.

Want proof? Here are just ten examples of Hammett’s variations of “guitar face.”

The “Metal is Fun” Guitar Face
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Look at the joy on his face? And some people think metal isn't wholesome!
The “Ah! I’m walking and playing at the same time” Guitar Face
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Seriously, how do more guitarists not fall when walking and playing? It feels like it would be very difficult.
The “Casual Rocking with the Bassist” Guitar Face
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Who wouldn't want to casually rock out with Robert Trujillo? He seems awesome!
The “Absolutely Thrashing with the Bassist” Guitar Face
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For real, Robert and Kirk have awesome chemistry on stage. Who doesn't love all of their "doodles"? (IYKYK)
The “I just saw a really gross spider and I don’t like it” Guitar Face
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C'mon...you're telling me you don't make a similar face when you see a really gross spider? If you say you don't, you can't blame us for thinking you're a liar.
The “I just stubbed my toe but I like it” Guitar Face
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Oh, you think this is a weird way to describe this particular guitar face? Please...how would you describe it? We'll wait...
The “I just hit my funny bone by mistake and it’s not so funny” Guitar Face
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Don't you just hate when you hit your funny bone? We bet Kirk would agree with us.
The “Man, this is a cool angle photo of me” Guitar Face
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Sometimes, guitarists just look cool as hell. There's no denying it, and they probably all know it, too.
The “I forgot how heavy a guitar can be until I play it like this” Guitar Face
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For real, it must be a little awkward to play a guitar like that. It must make your forearms burn like hell.
The “That’s right, I’m Kirk f-cking Hammett” Guitar Face
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It honestly must be cool to be Kirk Hammett. We hope he remembers this as he celebrates his birthday.

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Dave and Chuck the Freak

Dave and Chuck the Freak

A Bank Robber Wrote His Note on His Birth Certificate

Kirk Hammett: 10 Photos of Stellar 'Guitar Face'

The “Metal is Fun” Guitar Face

The “Ah! I’m walking and playing at the same time” Guitar Face

The “Casual Rocking with the Bassist” Guitar Face

The “Absolutely Thrashing with the Bassist” Guitar Face

The “I just saw a really gross spider and I don’t like it” Guitar Face

The “I just stubbed my toe but I like it” Guitar Face

The “I just hit my funny bone by mistake and it’s not so funny” Guitar Face

The “Man, this is a cool angle photo of me” Guitar Face

The “I forgot how heavy a guitar can be until I play it like this” Guitar Face

The “That’s right, I’m Kirk f-cking Hammett” Guitar Face

Sign me up for the Dave & Chuck The Freak's 'Unsolicited' Email Newsletter

You'll get access to recaps of the best stories of the week, the Peep Show of the week, as well as weekly 'Street Bits' episodes, an uncensored Dave & Chuck the Freak exclusive, available only to subscribers.

More Dave and Chuck the Freak