A guy they are calling the “Dildo Bandit” was captured on store security footage taking a rather large display donger from an adult novelty shop in Australia.

Last week the owner of the sex store named Love Heart noticed one of his display dongs was missing. The owner says the bandit took the floor model because it was easier . . . but he adds, quote, “stealing a tester wouldn’t be my first choice.”

No word on the exact make/model of the donger but the $142 USD could have been the reason the Dildo Bandit decided to turn to a life of crime.

FULL STORY

The 5 Most Kick Ass Old Dudes From The Movies

• Gandalf

  Yes, he looks like he used to be a roadie for Willie Nelson. Yes, he smokes some kind of weed-like substance from his pipe. And yes, of course he kicks some serious ass in Lord of The Rings. Not only does he use the might of his magic… but he’s not afraid to bestow a beating upon orcs with his staff. Gandalf ain’t nothin’ to f**k with!

• Count Dooku

  Count Dooku is one evil son of a bitch. The once super cool Jedi, that turned to the Dark Side and became a truly nasty bastard. When he’s not tryin’ to make it to a 5:30 am breakfast to get his senior discount… he’s whoopin’ ass with lightsabers and his ability to manipulate the force. Once he’s had his Metamucil, steer clear of this old mean son of a bitch!

• The Guy From The Taken Movies

  Liam Neeson’s character Bryan Mills. He’s pretty old. But he’s not afraid to kick some serious ass, even if his hips are made of metal. Watch him bring his elderly beating here. Doesn’t matter how much ointment it’s gonna take, there will be hell to pay if you f**k with him!

• Campbell From Braveheart

  Campbell is the Dad of Hamish from Braveheart. This old man proves time and time again how tough he is. Whether he’s getting his hand chopped off or being shot with arrows, he never backs down from a fight. Hell, here he is with an arrow in him and he’s still got the energy to get every body fired up after an epic ass kicking, they didn’t even have advil back then.

• Yoda

  Yoda is hundreds of years old, so he is by far the oldest of these ass-kicking old men. He tiny and walks with a cane. But don’t be fooled. He’s the most powerful Jedi there’s ever been. He gets around pretty good for his age and proved by his flips… he’s able to work through his joint pain to pick a fight with the evil Darth Sidious.

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