A Georgia man is giving a new meaning to porch pirate after a recent arrest.

According to this report, a man named Robin Swanger was arrested for stealing a neighbor’s porch from the front yard.  Yes, the WHOLE PORCH all 8 feet by 10 feet of porch!

The house had been removed from the lot, but the property owner says the porch was NOT up for grabs. So it was just a porch to nowhere in the middle of an empty lot covered in No Trespassing signs.

The owner of the porch said that it was NOT up for grabs even though they moved the home off the lot. During the investigation, the porch reappeared on the lot but was upside down.  Police were looking for Swanger for days in relation to the investigation.

They found him when they got a call to his residence on a domestic abuse situation. Swanger was arrested for the porch theft and also charged with two counts of domestic violence.

Drug Dealer Calls The Cops After A Customer Stole $10 From Him

You don’t have to be a genius to be a criminal.  This is a post dedicated to the dumbest of the dumb criminals.

We assume some criminals are so into their plans of law-breaking that they don’t realize they are making some obvious mistakes that will lead to their capture. It could be something as dumb as leaving their ID in a home they just burglarized or committing a crime right in front of a police officer.

Whatever dumb detail they missed, we are here to laugh about it.  Check out the Idiot Criminal of the Day below.

  • Idiot Criminal of the Day: Drug Dealer Calls The Cops After A Customer Stole $10 From Him

    A 33-year-old drug dealer in Florida got arrested on Friday after he called the cops and said a customer stole $10 from him.

    According to this report, Eric Thomas, called officers to report a theft of $10. When they arrived he had 11 baggies of pot in his possession and confessed that the person who stole the 10 bucks was there to buy pot. Both of those are no-no’s in Florida.

    mug shot of African American man

    Pinellas County Sheriff’s Department

    During a post-arrest search, cops found two baggies of cocaine in his wallet. He was arrested and charged with a pair of drug felonies and booked into the county jail.

  • Idiot Criminal of the Day: Missing Man Found Alive After Allegedly Faking His Death To Avoid Other Charges

    North Carolina’s own Melvin Emde is back in police custody after allegedly, and unsuccessfully, trying to fake his own death.

    According to reports, on August 7th, police received a call from Emde’s son saying his dad had “fallen overboard in a kayak” and drowned. That was the same day that Emde was due in court to answer for statutory rape charges.

    Cops suspected it was a hoax but went along with the story while they searched for evidence of a drowning and posted updates on the rescue and “frantic” search for Emde’s body.

    Why did the police think it was all a ruse? Emde was still wearing his ankle monitor from his previous arrest…and on the day of his “drowning” he was really at a Walmart buying two prepaid phones.

    𝐒𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐂𝐇 𝐄𝐅𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐓𝐒 𝐔𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑𝐖𝐀𝐘 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐌𝐈𝐒𝐒𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐎𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐁𝐎𝐀𝐑𝐃 𝐊𝐀𝐘𝐀𝐊𝐄𝐑The St. Charles Parish Sheriff’s Office has search efforts...

    Posted by St. Charles Parish Sheriff's Office on Monday, August 7, 2023

    On Sunday, Emde was taken into custody after a traffic stop and crash while he was driving his motorcycle in Georgia.

  • Idiot Criminal of the Day: August 28th 2023 - Drug Dealer Calls Police To Report A Burglary But Forgot To Put His Drugs Away

    A drug dealer in Pennsylvania was arrested, after he called the cops to his apartment, saying he was robbed.  But when they got there, they saw his drugs and paraphernalia sitting around . . . in plain sight.

    According to reports, 46-year-old Allen Phelan Jr. called the police to report that someone had broken a window and entered his apartment. When officers arrived it did not appear that anyone had broken into the residence. They asked Phelan if anything was missing.

    He took officers around his apartment where they allege a pill bottle with a white powder was in clear view with a small measuring spoon. That’s when they placed Phelan in custody and executed a search warrant.

    During the search warrant, they found: 47 grams of Fentanyl and 71 packages of it valued at $25,000, 13 grams of meth, 20 grams of marijuana, 9 suboxone strips, and 12 clonazepam

    mugshot of white male in orange prison jumpsuit

    (Blair County Prison)

  • Idiot Criminal of the Day: August 10th 2023 - Thief Caught Stealing Admits He's Not Good At Shoplifting

    According to reports, a 53-year-old man in Florida was caught stealing from Walmart this week.

    He tried putting a bunch of stuff up his shirt and walk out the store, but Walmart security stopped him and called the cops. When the police caught up with him, he blurted out, quote, “I’m not good at shoplifting.”  He was hit with a felony because he had a couple of priors.

    mugshot of bald guy in orange prison jumpsuit

    Pinellas County Sheriff’s Office

  • Idiot Criminal of the Day: August 8th 2023 - Man Breaks Into Church, Baptizes Himself, Then Robbed It

    According to reports, a man broke into a Panama City church using a cinder block to break a window.  The man identified as Derek Porter caused over $8K in damage to the facility.

    A church employee heard the sound of Porter smashing the window and fled.  When police arrived and found him he admitted to baptizing himself in the church’s baptistry pool and claimed he wasn’t sure everything he did inside the building.

    mugshot of man that broke into church

    bay county sheriff’s office

    Police report that Porter had several electronics including a television and a computer from the church in his truck along with the church’s money bag.  They also found drug and drug paraphernalia on him. Here is some body cam footage during the arrest.

    GEORGIA MAN BAPTIZES SELF DURING BURGLARY AT BEACH CHURCH(Bodycam footage of detained suspect and deputies clearing the building when K9 decides to beat the heat and cool off in baptismal.)August 4, 2023The Bay County Sheriff’s Office announced today the arrest of a Georgia man who has been charged with Burglary of an Occupied Structure, Criminal Mischief, Possession of Methamphetamine, and Possession of Drug Paraphernalia.On August 4th, 2023, BCSO responded to a Burglary call at the Emerald Beach Church of God off of Alf Coleman Rd. Deputies discovered Derek Porter from Georgia had used a cinder block to smash the window of the church to enter inside.A female employee was inside the church at the time and fled for safety upon hearing the glass breaking. While inside, Porter caused approximately $8,000 worth of damage to the church. Porter then loaded several electronics including atelevision and a computer into his truck along with the church’s money bag.Methamphetamine and paraphernalia were also found on Porter. PCBPD was also on the scene and assisted in the arrest.Porter stated he could not remember what happened during various moments inside the church. He did remember however baptizing himself in the church’s baptistry pool. Porter claims “something” was holding his head down under the water whilein the pool. Porter was out on bond for burglary in Georgia.

    Posted by Bay County Sheriff's Office on Friday, August 4, 2023

    Porter has been charged with burglary of an occupied structure, criminal mischief, possession of meth, and possession of drug paraphernalia.

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