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Junk Food Roundup: Square Doritos, Pizza Cheetos, And Foreign Conversation Hearts

Author Cort Freeman and Dave & Chuck the Freak
Junk Food Roundup: Square Doritos, Pizza Cheetos, And Foreign Conversation Hearts (Photo by Mario Tama/Getty Images)

It’s time for another Junk Food Roundup on Dave & Chuck The Freak. Would you try any of these new crazy food concoctions?

Today, we’ll be putting the spotlight on Square Doritos, Pizza Cheetos, and Foreign Conversation Hearts. Are these the next big thing? Or will they remain on store shelves and soon be forgotten? That’s up to you, the consumer, to decide!

Junk Food Roundup: Would You Try These Crazy New Foods?

During Junk Food Roundup, we like to highlight new foods that are hitting shelves that are far from ordinary. Sometimes they end up really taking off and becoming popular, but most of the time they should have never existed in the first place. Where will these fall? Are you willing to try any of these or do any have your attention?

First, there’s Square Doritos. As you know, they’ve always been triangles. An image has been doing the rounds (no pun intended) online that shows a square chip and it’s captioned, “The shape of things to come.” It was shared on the DoritosUK Instagram account. Some people are excited about the change and trying a new Dorito. Other people aren’t as excited and just compare it to a Wheat Thin. We’ve seen square chips before, nothing exciting about them. What do you think?

From Doritos to Cheetos, chips are going crazy in 2025. Cheetos will reportedly be releasing a new Cheetos Puffs Cheese Pizza Flavor which has been described as tasting, “just like a slice from your favorite pizza shop.” The new flavor will start rolling out this week and should be everywhere within a month. I love Cheetos. They’re my favorite, but I like the original. I don’t need a Pizza Cheeto. Leave that flavor to Combos.

Finally, there’s Brach’s global version of Conversation Hearts. These will reportedly feature sentimental sayings from around the world, including more than 30 expressions in 13 different language. Love is the international language so this could be great for Valentine’s Day, which is coming up, by the way! Don’t forget (again).

What do you think? Do any of these stand out to you? I hate people messing with my Cheetos. Just let them be! There are already enough great flavors between original and Flamin’ Hot. A Pizza Cheeto just doesn’t make sense. I don’t need it. The Conversation Hearts could be fun for Valentine’s Day but outside of that one day they don’t serve much of a purpose. Finally, a square Dorito is cool but I don’t need to try it. At least none of these are gross or disgusting, I just find them a bit boring. What say you?

Cort Freeman was born and raised in Metro Detroit. He was named Clarkston High School 2009 Class Clown 13 years after graduating. Totally normal thing to happen. That’s thanks to his time spent as an Intern at Comedy Central and Social Media Correspondent for The Colbert Report. Cort has done comedy across the country, both standing up and sitting down. When he’s not trying to make you laugh on-air and online, he’s probably at home enjoying his favorite shows like Seinfeld, South Park, and The Office. He’s also totally uncomfortable writing about himself in the third person. Cort enjoys writing about comedy, food, sports, and entertainment. So, basically anything and everything.

9 Worst Trick or Treat Handouts for Halloween

Halloween is the time of year when spookiness takes center stage, and creative costumes rule the streets. It’s also the day of the beloved tradition, trick-or-treating. Whether you’re a kid dreaming of a candy jackpot or an adult admiring the neighborhood’s costume creativity while handing out treats, it’s a highlight of the year.

However, you’ll always find that one neighbor who likes to shake things up by handing out something other than candy. It’s not always a bad thing, though. Some people do it for a good reason, like considering kids with dietary restrictions. But if you’re considering going outside the box, you should avoid certain trick-or-treat handouts.

Let’s talk about the Halloween horrors, the stuff no one wants in their trick-or-treat bag. First on the list are those infamous toothbrushes or dental floss packs. Halloween is the one night a year when kids can indulge in a sugar frenzy, and suddenly, you’re handed a dental hygiene product. It’s like being told to eat your veggies at a birthday party. Then there are the homemade treats. While some homemade goodies can be delicious, receiving unlabeled, homemade treats can make even the bravest trick-or-treater think twice; also, most parent’s won’t feel comfortable with that and may dispose of them. All of your hard work will go to waste! Safety is paramount on Halloween, and unwrapped or unlabeled edibles can raise concerns.

Another item to avoid is pennies. They’re not even worth the trip to the store, and they make you question if you’ve accidentally stumbled into a time machine back to the 1950s. If you’re going to give out money on Halloween, make it worthwhile if you can swing it. While Halloween is all about surprises, pennies are definitely not the kind of surprises anyone hopes for.

Take a look at some of the worst trick-or-treat handouts for Halloween.

  • Key Chains

    Keychains are handy, but they’re not exactly the kind of treasure kids hope to find in their candy haul. They want stuff that’s sweet, not stuff for keys they don’t have. Save yourself some money and pass on key chains.

    Leather keychain, holder trinket for key with metal ring. Vector realistic template of black fob for home, car or office isolated on white background. Blank accessory for corporate identity

    klyaksun/ Getty Images

  • Hygiene Products

    We all know cleanliness is important, but getting soap, shampoo, or hand sanitizer in your treat bag on Halloween is not what kids look forward to. It’s a treat, not a trip to the pharmacy. It’s like getting socks for Christmas. While practical, it’s not exactly exciting.

    bottles of amenity set besides bathtub in bathroom

    onsuda/ Getty Images

  • Loose Change

    Coins may have been an acceptable treat decades ago, but nowadays, they’re seen as disappointing. Kids prefer candy. Or maybe small toys (if they’re exciting/cool enough). Unless, you’re giving away the big bucks, steer clear of this one.

    Coins in denominations of 1 American cent with a portrait of Lincoin on a gray background

    Max Zolotukhin/ Getty Images

  • Trail Mix

    Healthy snacks are great, but Halloween is all about the sugar rush. Kids aren’t exactly thrilled to find a mix of fruit and nuts in their bag. They’re hoping for chocolates and gummies, not something they associate with after-school snacks.

    Colorful trail mix in a white bowl with spoon

    dbvirago/ Getty Images

  • Coupons

    Adults may appreciate coupons for discounts at local businesses, but they don’t make for a fun Halloween treat for kids. Saving money is cool, but Halloween is all about instant gratification. And coupons for discounts don’t really make the cut.

    10% OFF coupon illustration set

    ichico/ Getty Images

  • Brochures or Pamphlets

    Halloween is not the time to distribute religious or informational materials. Kids are looking for fun and treats, not pamphlets. Consider giving those away another day that’s not Halloween.

    A shallow focus shot of a male standing near a door and giving out pamphlets while smiling

    Wirestock/ Getty Images

  • Toothbrushes and Dental Floss

    Halloween is all about the candy, right? So, if you toss a toothbrush or dental floss into a kid’s stash of treats, you’re basically inviting disappointment. Plus, it’s safe to assume that the trick-or-treater already has a toothbrush. Do they truly need another one?

    Dental floss and toothbrush on white background

    egal/ Getty Images

  • Unwrapped Candy

    Throwing unwrapped candy into a plastic pumpkin? That’s just asking for a sticky mess. Plus, it’s not the cleanest option. And given the concerns these days, it’s just another worry for parents who fear someone might mess with their child’s candy.

    Close-up of hard candies isolated on white background.

    LeventKonuk/ Getty Images

  • Homemade Treats

    Those fancy homemade snacks that look like they came straight from Pinterest can be cute, but if you don’t really know the kids or their parents, they might wonder about your intentions. Sticking to pre-packaged treats is your best bet on Halloween, especially if you’re trying to keep trick-or-treating simple and sanitary.

    Decorating Halloween gingerbreads of pumpkin lantern and skeletons with frosting. Girl holds pastry bag with black icing and decorates gingerbread pumpkin lantern

    13-Smile/ Getty Images

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Author Cort Freeman and Dave & Chuck the Freak
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